Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Rekindling the Flame

Repost of an older post.  But, I'm feeling this way today....I'm glad - I missed it.

Celestial Flame


I feel it.

This exquisite and piercing energy pulsating from the core of my being and into my heart...
reaching, longing, yearning to expand and live through my hands, my fingers, my lips, my voice...
I am staggered by the immense weight of it all;
its vivid and overpowering strength, its invisible yet tangible current, its ambient and explicit illumination,
its longing for life....

It overwhelms me.
I apprehensively welcome its unexpected and familiar manifestation -
for while I tremble underneath its empyrean expectations,
I ache for and thrive under its motivating presence.
I long to embrace it as I am encompassed by it - this divinely driven desire
to create.

It grows and swells, straining the tender walls of my heart, beating so quickly as to render my breath and my voice useless.
I want to scream, or run, or dance, or dive, or sing, or laugh, or spin, or fly, or fall.
I want to draw, or paint, or sculpt into perfection the deep emotions that live and multiply inside the hidden recesses of my soul... to touch, mold, feel, and use my body to connect my eternal self with the elements of this mortal world.

I want to photograph and capture every beautiful moment, element, color, line, shape, and texture
that can reflect its natural light into my lens.
I want my apron dusted with flour, and my hands stained with the vibrant crimson red
of exquisitely ripe pomegranate.
I want to infuse, and flavor, and season, and smell, and blend, and bake, and arrange
every herb, every spice, every grain, every kind.
I want to sew the softest silk, the lightest cotton, the warmest wool.
I want to design the most flattering dress, embroider the coziest quilt,
make the most satisfying meal.
I want to reproduce the look, feel, and taste of my inner core's love;
create tangible touchable things to please, and edify, and succor.
To inspire, and motivate, and invigorate.
To bring new joy and sustain old happiness.
To connect. To merge. To simplify.

I want my creations to give comfort, elicit joy, envelop with pure delight,
and be desirable and delicious to the taste.
I want them to invoke memory and inspire action.
I want to think of something completely new.
Reinvigorate something old.
Mend something broken.
Move something stuck.
Improve something stunted.
Find something lost.
Reunite something torn apart.
Perpetuate something good.

I long to create more creation - to bring enduring eternal souls into this world - to nurture infinite creativity, love, hope, and joy.

It hurts sometimes - this longing to create;
this inability to fully achieve and accurately express the glowing embers that smolder within.
But the desire still burns;
patience gently and prudently blows light into the coals,
and the reward of perseverant fruition is sweet.

And I suppose that's what an eternity is really for -
endless opportunities to fan this celestial flame.

1 comment:

  1. janna, i love your asl video. it is amazing! you are an amazing friend. i also love your photo of rekindling the flame. i have read some of them and am very touched by your words.

    ReplyDelete