Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Quiet Mind


"To have a quiet mind is to possess one's mind wholly; to have a calm spirit is to possess one's self.
"
-Hamilton Mabie



I am currently in the middle of creating a new blog post, and it is taking me so long to think, process, and produce that I felt bad leaving my fledgling blog 'un-updated' for so long. And so, as I am attempting to utilize my thinking and sharing skills for the next post, I thought I'd pay a little homage to one of my favorite thinkers : Abraham Lincoln. He is an individual whom I truly admire and, like many of my heroes (Jane Austen, Beatrix Potter, Audrey Hepburn, Mother Theresa, and many others.....), lived his life with a quiet dignity. Eloquent and outspoken when necessary, but subtle and humble throughout his life.

"I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot." -Abraham Lincoln

I, like he, am 'rather inclined to silence,' and often find myself thinking rather than speaking. I like to observe, absorb, process, and understand... before I open my mouth to share. It can be a strength, but it is also a weakness. I think deeply about many things but openly share few things, and I have often been chastised for keeping my opinion to myself... for metaphorically 'hiding beneath a bushel.'

I will testify before legislature, lobby at the state house, debate morality and politics in class, and express my opinions in meetings... but I prefer to play unobtrusive observer in after dinner conversations. I simply choose to 'pick my battles' - or at least, that's my excuse for not speaking out as much in my private realm as I do in my educational and professional ones, and even then, my voice is not often loud or long. Why say in a page what can be said in a paragraph? Or in a paragraph a sentence? Or in a sentence a word?

(Or, as I'm sure my professors grew tired of hearing/reading: "I already answered that question, I'm not going to repeat myself four times just to fill space and meet a page requirement...")

Sometimes, the quietness comes from the desire to not waste energy arguing with someone I know will strongly disagree with me. Sometimes, it comes from a desire to listen and learn more about a subject I haven't completely formed an opinion about. Sometimes, it comes from a fear of rejection. And, sometimes, it comes from a feeling of inadequacy.

Like images of myself, my personal opinions are not something I show off or share easily. It is what feels like a selfish reach. And so, I am thoughtfully contemplating my next post, diligently working to correctly express in words my musings on a subject deeply rooted in my heart; using you, faithful readers, to stretch beyond myself.