My Soul Doth Hunger

And my soul hungered; 

and I kneeled down before my Maker, 

and I cried unto him in mighty prayer 

and supplication for mine own soul; 

and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, 

and when the night came I did still raise my voice high 

that it reached the heavens.

Enos 1:4

For the last 18 months I have been participating in a nutritional study at Tufts University's Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging.  It's a two year study focusing on the effects of slight improvements in diet and nutrition on various aspects of health and aging in individuals with relatively healthy BMIs. My 18 month mark was this month.

Over the last year and half I have had the opportunity to learn about the effects of diet and nutrition from numerous doctors, specialists, researchers, dietitians, nutritionists, physical therapists, and personal counselors.  I have gained a wealth of general and personal knowledge on metabolism, digestion, weight maintenance, vitamins, nutrients, supplements, and food sources, as well as the effect that sleep, schedules, hormones, and mental wellbeing can have on dietary health.

The knowledge I have gained has been very useful to me in many ways, including helping me to get my body to a healthier BMI.  The process of gaining this knowledge has definitely been a blessing, but it has not always been easy, and occasionally has felt much like a curse. 

"Knowledge is power."

Sir Francis Bacon said.

But, as Albert Einstein so keenly perceived

 "Information is not knowledge."

You would think, logically, that the wealth of facts and information I was gathering would make maintaining a healthy diet easier. But, we humans are complicated, and our factual minds are counterbalanced with often illogical and emotional hearts. The in-depth details and information, instead of making decisions easier, made them more complicated. I would eat certain things even though I knew I shouldn't, often simply because I shouldn't.  Food, instead of simply being 'food', became a symbolic emotional power struggle for me, at one brief time almost developing into an eating disorder.

I was lucky enough to have the support I needed both mentally and spiritually to be able to step back and normalize what was quickly becoming a destructive pattern, surprisingly from something intended to be helpful and good.  So, what was is that transformed this good and righteous pursuit into something so difficult and self-destructive?  Why was it that in my seeking of health and happiness I began to find only guilt and self-loathing?

And the spirit and the body are the soul of man. 
 D&C 88:15

We are dual creatures, made up of a sacred yet carnal vessel housing a celestial and eternal spirit.  I've often questioned and struggled with the concept of the 'natural man' and his role in our mortal journey.  How can our bodies - one of the greatest gifts we receive from God - also be an 'enemy to God'?   

And now...all men are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state...
they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; 
therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. 
And now behold, is the meaning of the word restoration to take a thing of a natural state 
and place it in an unnatural state, or to place it in a state opposite to it's nature? 

Alma 41 11:12

I love rhetorical questions. :) The definition of restoration - and the purpose of the Atonement - according to dictionary terms is to "return something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition."  So what is the 'nature' of God and of happiness? What former natural state will we be restored to? 

For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth. 
And I, the Lord God, had created all the children of men; and not yet a man to till the ground; 
for in heaven created I them; and there was not yet flesh upon the earth...

Moses 3:5

As Stephen R. Covey stated "We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human  journey." We are first and foremost beings of a spiritual nature: faithful, charitable, merciful, kind, knowledgeable, patient, loving, humble, and hopeful.  We are celestial beings blessed with the gift of a mortal trial, the opportunity to enhance the essence of our spirits with a body of flesh and blood, to develop and merge into 'living souls'.

First spiritual, secondly temporal, which is the beginning of my work; 
and again, first temporal, secondly spiritual, which is the last of my work.  
D&C 29:32

So, if our original, natural state as created by God is so wonderfully spiritual, who is this enemy the 'natural man'?

There is a natural body, there is a spiritual body. 
1 Corinthians 15:44

There are several definitions and meanings of the word 'nature' or 'natural', some of which include:

- the material word

- the elements of the natural world

- the universe, with all it's phenomenon

- the biological functions or the urges to satisfy their requirements

- a primitive, wild condition

- existing in or formed by nature.

- based on the state of things in nature

- in a state of nature; uncultivated

- growing spontaneously

- unenlightened or unregenerate

- born such

- not treated

- an idiot (yes, it's a noun)

Alma clarifies what he meant by natural state - a 'carnal' state contrary to the spiritual state of god.  God is subject to the laws of the universe, and our bodies were born from elements of nature. The process of creation, evolution, and survival through the ages has created unique 'carnal' urges, needs, responses and and processes within our bodies.  Our physical beings are greatly effected and driven by genetics, hormones, chemicals, seasons, temperatures, sights, smells, and sounds - including such things as the urge to 'spread our seed', the tendency to 'bulk up' or eat nutritionally denser foods in winter, and the 'survival instinct.'

For the natural man is an enemy to God,

and has been from the fall of  Adam, and will be forever and ever,

unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and putteth off the natural man

and becometh a saint through the Atonement of Christ the Lord. 

Mosiah 3:9

In an age when science helps us to learn so much about the biology, chemistry, and genetics of our physical bodies it is easy to justify carnal behaviors such as infidelity, eating disorders, and addictions.  I'm not saying that our bodies are evil or worthless, quite the opposite.  They are amazing tools that can enhance the experiences and existence of our spirits in ways we can only yet imagine, but they are unrefined and imperfect - like a raw clay that must be handled, kneaded, molded, and shaped before becoming the beautiful and artistic vessel it is meant to be. I believe that is one of the reasons why it would have been so bad for Adam and Eve to partake of the Tree of Life and become immortal so soon after partaking of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge - they had not yet learned to master their new bodies. 

It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. 

1 Corinthians 15:44

The point of this life is not to reject our 'natural' bodies, but to embrace them wholeheartedly - to fill them with our spirit and mold them into our celestial souls.  As with my experience with the study, no one wakes up planning to become a slave to the natural man or his urges.  But the process of refining a soul is a difficult one, and one which Satan will do all within his power to keep us from completing.  We are often too hard on ourselves. It is never easy, but always worth it.  Never give up. Begin again. Start anew. Love yourself - body and spirit. Hold another soul in your arms. Feed your spiritual hunger. Embrace your beautiful, eternal, natural self.

And he said unto them: 
He that eateth of this bread 
eateth of my body to his soul;
 and he that drinketh of this wine 
drinketh of my blood to his soul; 
and his soul shall never hunger nor thirst, 
but shall be filled.
 3 Nephi 20:8