'One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention.'
- Jim Rohn
This quote has come often to my mind lately -
"When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people."
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
When I first moved to Boston over three years ago, the only job I could get was waiting tables. Nothing too great, but nothing too bad either. I had waited tables before, at a restaurant in Kentucky, and it was one of the best jobs I've ever had. Not because of the pay, or the job tasks, but because of the people. My boss was great, my coworkers were great, my customers were great. They were kind. They smiled a lot. They looked you in the eye. And they were always happy to see you.
Then, I waited tables in Boston. I would often go several days without one customer even acknowledging my presence. No eye contact. No greetings. No please or thank you. I don't think that most of them ever looked in the direction of my face as I was talking to them. It was often as if I didn't exist - I was merely the nameless order machine, there to serve them. It was cold, it was lonely, and it was very hard.
Now, I'm working in the Pre-Op Holding area at Children's Hospital. Definitely not the same as waiting tables, but still in the realm of public service. And I love my job. Not because of the pay, or the job tasks, but - again - because of the people. I am constantly surrounded by kindness. Little kindnesses that are occurring every moment, and in so many different ways - between myself, my coworkers, my patients, and my patient's families.
My workspace is the 'buffer zone' between hospital check in and the operating room, and it is a very emotional place. Children come in scared and crying, and parents leave scared and crying. (I see more fathers cry in a day than I doubt many people will see in several lifetimes.) I am constantly amazed at the power a small kindness can have during such an intense and overwhelming situation. By simply paying attention to someone - their body language, the logo on their t-shirt, the color of their nail polish, the affectionate names used by family members - you can gain a wealth of 'kindness knowledge'. A smile, a balloon in a favorite color, a sticker of a favorite character, saying someone's preferred name, waiting patiently while they gather their emotions, walking - or skipping - at their pace, can all make a huge difference in someone's experience; whether it be a one time visit to the operating room or the daily routine of waiting tables.
I've decided to work harder at my 'kindness aptitude'. I've started to notice and pay attention to the way I interact with others: Do I smile and say hello to the toll booth operator? Do I look my waiter in the eye when I order and remember their name? Do I thank the bus driver? Do I notice and compliment the beauty in others? Do I encourage talents, skills, and abilities? Do I make others smile or bring them joy? Do I reflect the kindness I wish to see in the world?
Yes, I have a college degree, but that doesn't make me above the practice of human kindness, just as coming from a working class family doesn't mean I'm below human attention. Titles, degrees, knowledge, belongings, ownerships, and job descriptions all have their place in this world-
but,
in the end
only kindness matters.
