My Heart is Full

Some days we forget to look around us.
Some days we can't see the joy that surrounds us.
So caught up inside ourselves,
we take when we should give.

Look beyond ourselves - there's so much sorrow.
It's way too late to say, "I'll cry tomorrow".
Each of us must find our truth,
we're so long overdue.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change and even though we all can still do more...
There's so much to be thankful for.

And even though the world needs so much more...
There's so much to be thankful for.
-Thankful, Josh Groban

It is said that you don't know what you have until it's gone, and while the deprivation of good things from our lives can make us more keenly aware of the lost treasure's significance, it is often in times of perceived loss that we come to realize the breadth and value of all that we still possess.  As I sit, alone in my new home, the soft glow of the Christmas lights twinkling, reflecting the rich color of the walls; soothing sounds of seasonal instruments subtly winding through the air; dinner plates stacked high with pans soaking in hot soapy water; kitchen chairs circling the living room rug, still warm from their recently departed occupants...my heart is full.

We all face times of heartbreak, but the world is also full of so much good and I am continually in awe of the heart's capacity to feel - not only joy or pain, happiness or sorrow, but many different things - all at once. I stumbled across the perfect word today, to describe the sensation of this paradoxical aptitude: muchness. 

Muchness: n. Greatness of quantity, degree, or extent.

I have been overwhelmed by muchness lately.  The muchness of the goodness that surrounds me, of the kindness of friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers.  While mourning the loss of one love I have come to find a brilliance and extension of love in places I never would have forseen.  My heart is full - sometimes of sorrow, but also of love, of peace, of joy, of contentment, of hope, of healing, of acceptance, of gratitude. 

Thank you. Thank you all for your warmth, your kind words and comforting hugs, your understanding shoulders and patient ears, your unexpected emails and letters and gifts. Even those who knew nothing more than to offer a genuine smile and a caring glance, your small and simple acts of kindness over the last few months have filled the cracks....   The seeds of doubt, the feelings of insignificance and smallness, have been pushed out of the way, and bit by bit the pieces of my soul have come home and its confidence has been restored.  Words will never be able to accurately describe the gratitude I feel - for God, for Christ, for life, for love, for you.  I am truly humbled by all the muchness I've been blessed with.  I only hope I can return the goodness I've been given.

...let your hearts be full... 
Alma 34:27

...and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks... 
Alma 37:37

...behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice... 
Alma 26:11