A New Dawn

I will never have the power to control the land

or conquer half the world or claim the sun.

I will never be the kind who simply waves her hand

and has a million people do the things I wish I'd done.

But in the eyes of Heaven my place is assured,

I carry with me Heaven's grand design.

Gloria, Gloria, I will sing the name of the Lord

and he will make me shine.

- 'Christmas Lullaby' from Songs for a New World

Hello everyone!  Yes, I am still here. No, I have not forgotten about my blog.  I think about it a lot actually, and have so many things I'd like to post about that I never seem to be able to.  I do - miracle of miracles - have several photo posts cued up and waiting to be posted over the next few weeks. This one, however, is dedicated to reviewing and renewing and may require you to do more than just quietly and anonymously peruse the page.

At the top of my blog, in the 'About Me' section, I placed a quote from Virginia Satir.  It's a description that I do not fit perfectly, but one that I am constantly trying to aspire to:

"Over the years I have developed a picture of what a human being living humanely is like. She is a person who understands, values, and develops her body, finding it beautiful and useful; a person who is real and willing to take risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change when the situation calls for it, and to find ways to accomodate to what is new and different, keeping that part of the old that is still useful, and discarding what is not."

During the last few years I have gone through many changes - in work, education, relationships, goals, interests, and character (Reference: Facing Myself, Summer says are come and gone.., A Quiet Mind, Reason and Regret, Tasting Light, Alive in My Humanity ) - hopefully all positive and worthwhile in the end.  In the last few months I have taken on many new projects - in music, foreign language, painting, cooking, sewing, fundraising, and research, and I am striving to figure out the best way to utilize my time working on these, while still having a balanced and share-worthy life.  Last year's New Year (Polar Bear Plunge) was a wonderful new beginning - a renewal - and I'm striving to make this year one as well.

I've been thinking a lot about how I can become a newer and better person, and wondering how I should be spending my time and what things I should choose to focus on.  I was asked (rather last minute and unexpectedly) to speak in our church sacrament meeting the Sunday after Christmas - the topic was to be "The Life of Christ".  The topic was so broad and all encompassing it was difficult to find focus, but after some pondering and insightful conversations with friends I decided to study Christ's mortal day to day life - how he spent his time, those he interacted with, what he valued, and who he was as a man.  We set aside Christmas as a time to honor and celebrate his birth, and Easter as a time to honor his Atoning death and resurrection - but who was he in all those years between?  What was the drive, the purpose, the meaning behind his daily breath?

Here are a few things I learned while studying about the life of Jesus Christ, my Savior:

-He is not above God's laws; he was not Hercules, a Titan, or a superhero with magical powers - he was a man.  

-He was a man with with feelings, a man with weaknesses, a man who was tempted and tried in all aspects of life - what sets him apart is that he consistently made the choice to never give in to those weaknesses or temptations.

-He turned his will to God, recognized and acknowledged his weaknesses, and allowed his Father to help him transform them into strengths.

-He performed physical miracles because that was his calling, but the essence and base of his existence was simple principles - he was humble; he honored his parents, both Mary his mother, God his Eternal Father, and Joseph, the mortal man who raised him as his own; he loved his friends and his enemies; he was his brother's keeper; he was kind; he put people first; he stood up for his principles and the gospel; he loved God.

Christ was a man, a mortal man, who loved God, the Gospel, and his fellow man with all his heart, might, mind and strength.  He loved and valued other's lives and souls to the point of sacrificing his own.  I learned that when we try to reach perfection by modeling our lives after the Savior we don't raise the dead, heal the sick, walk on water, or die on a cross -  We walk in humility and learn from our mistakes. We are tempted and tried but are strengthened by the Lord and consciously and consistently choose not to give in.  We honor our parents.  We are our brother's keeper. We love our friends and our enemies.  We forgive everyone, everything, every time.  We put people first.  We love God with all our heart, might, mind, and strength, and want nothing more than to see those around us feel that love and have the same desire to grow with us.

I am far from perfect and need improvement in many areas of my life but I've decided I want to try and model this next year - and every year after - on the life of my Savior.  I want to become more thoughtful, mindful, and diligent in improving my relationship with God, and with those around me.  I want to have purpose - in making people feel loved and valued. I want to learn, and hopefully be useful in the learning of others.

So, now we get to the part where you can help me. (See, I told you you'd have to participate.)  My blog has taken on many different roles and tones the last two years.  It has been a photo journal, sharing images of trips to Haiti and other various episodes in my life; it has been a spiritual journal, sharing various aspects of the gospel and spiritual lessons I have learned; and it has been a personal journal, documenting moments of growth and change in my life. It has been both a prominent and a forgotten tool in my life, varying in content and frequency.

I would like to be a better blogger, a writer who is interesting a makes a difference, and I need your feedback to do so.  What is it that you have liked about this blog?  What interests you? What kinds of posts do you most enjoy (photos, quotes, spiritual, personal, or a combination)?  How frequently do you check and read this blog?  Would you like smaller posts more often, or longer posts more spread out?  How can I improve my posts/writing?  What can I do to make this seemingly impersonal electronic page meaningful and useful to you? (If you don't want to leave a public comment you can email me at jannalwilkinson@gmail.com)

I know it's been a while, so you don't have to answer right away, but look over past posts, think about it, and let me know what you think.  The quality and value of my future blog posts is dependent on your feedback  If I don't get many responses I may decide that it's not all that important, and choose to focus my energy elsewhere. (Hah  ...my weak attempt at soliciting comments through intimidation - did I sound threatening enough?)  Anyway, I look forward to your feedback - it's greatly appreciated.  I'll start posting the short and sweet photo pages I've got cued up in the meantime.  I hope you enjoy them!!!!


P.S.  I just noticed that I had 47 posts in 2009 beginning in May - and I only have 17 for the entire year of 2010!  I also haven't posted since October... I've got some serious catching up/improving to do...