The Times of Reckoning

"...a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves..." 

- D&C 123:16

I contend with the unexpected and undesired changes in my life, the culmination of which seems so much out of my hands and subject to the choices and agency of others.  Many days my soul feels like a storm tossed ship in the heart of a raging sea, moving at the mercy of the wind and waves that beset it.  I wonder where the Captain is, and like the disciples sailing on the Sea of Galilee, want to cry out in anguish and despair, Master, carest thou not if I perish? Where are your words?  Where is your power to calm the raging sea? Where is your 'Peace, be still.'?

Be assured that there is a safe harbor.  You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you.  Your Heavenly Father--who knows when even a sparrow falls--knows of your heartache and suffering.  He loves you and wants the best for you.  Never doubt this.  While He allows all of us to make choices that may not always be for our own or even other's well-being, and while He does not always intervene in the course of events, He has promised the faithful peace even in their trials and tribulations...Living the gospel does not mean the storms of life will pass us by, but we will be better prepared to face them with serenity and peace.  -Joseph B. Wirthlin

When ships encounter heavy weather, officers are to keep the ship's bow heading into the wind with just enough speed to maintain steering.  If waves strike the ship broadside, heavy rolling occurs, which can cause injury or even capsize the ship. But staying on course and heading straight into the waves is not easy.  Ships seem so vulnerable to the power of the sea--riding up a swell slowly and then plunging down into the next approaching wave with a violent shudder. Can it take this kind of punishment? Will the rudder continue to meet the demand of the wheel's turn? Can it continue on a straight path with the winds continually pitching it back and forth?

I struggle to maintain true to the compass...to find the balance between hope and acceptance, having faith and letting go, staying true and confident in my course and still remaining humble enough to accept the Lord's will and guidance.  I want the storm to be over - to fast forward into the future to when the seas are calm and sunny, and yet I want to turn back, back to where I was before the clouds came in.  I want to be anywhere, anywhere but here in the tempest, caught in the present squall. I know the only true course out of the storm is straight forward, into the waves. I know that in order to be able to accept future blessings, I have to move away from present treasures - but I don't want to. I'm not sure that I'm ready to let go...

Here then is a great truth.  In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner's fire... In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul.  It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God.  In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd. Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. 

There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.  The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives... This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard... In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit.   

If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet... When we pluck the roses, we find we often cannot avoid the thorns which spring from the same stem. Out of the refiners fire can come a glorious deliverance.  It can be a noble and lasting rebirth.  The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid.  There can come sacred peace.  There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. -James E. Faust

Yes, I am struggling...struggling with accepting the losses and changes in my life; but I know who is at the helm and his loving guidance is never to be doubted. There are many things about my life and my future that I don't know, but I do know that I am never alone on stormy seas.  God is my compass and Christ is my comforter, and they will not only lead me to a safe harbor, but make recompense for any suffering along the way.  The tempest is raging and will not be still, but I know in whom I have trusted; and while my heart is in sorrow, and the winds of confusion blow around me, my soul will find peace.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear,  though the earth be removed,

and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, 

though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof...

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved:

God shall help her...

Be still, and know that I am God.

-Psalm 46

Therefore, let your hearts be comforted...for all flesh is in mine hands; 

Be still and know that I am God.

-D&C 101:16

*The Times of Reckoning: Abraham 3:6
* Bow: The front section of a ship or boat.
*Helm: The steering gear of a ship, including the wheel, tiller, or rudder.